As you know I was planning on going to school this fall, beauty school, so no one could sing the "Beauty School Dropout" song from grease to me anymore.
As time got closer to going, it seemed like a big financial burden, especially with me and my kids all getting out of school at the same time, and student loans having to be paid back, and me having to start a business and having that expense.
I have prayed soooo hard for help in making the decision whether or not to really go... after all, when I was little I dreamed of being a hair dresser, but now as I'm older I'm not so sure it's really what I want to do... I don't know what I want to do....sometimes I wish I could have a little bakery... but around here I don't think I would make anything... People aren't willing to pay what you need to charge in order to run a business.
I have been sooo confused....Then at the end of the July, my hands have hurt after lots of use, I did have carpal tunnel surgery back when I worked at the bakery, about 14 years ago I think. My hands and wrists have hurt off and on and I don't have any strength in my grip since then so when they hurt I didn't really think about it. Until July, they REALLY hurt. I couldn't grasp much... which got me thinking, is this carpal tunnel again?? trigger thumb??? I wasn't sure... I didn't want to spend lots of money on hair school if I wouldn't be able to hold scissors....and roll curlers...So I went to an orthopedic surgeon for an opinion. An EXPENSIVE opinion but an opinion none the less....I got my hands ex-rayed since he said Carpal tunnel doesn't usually come back, and it didn't hurt when he pressed on my hands, wrists, and thumbs, where it should have hurt for this other syndrome (french word that I can't remember) so it wasn't that. He said the only thing it could be is arthritis!! I can't have arthritis I"m only.........49. Ok, not that young anymore. So I got an ex-ray... which astounded the doc since it didn't show arthritis.....now what??
The doctor suggested an MRI....since it was a lot cheaper than school tuition. Said it should show something! and that way I'd know if it was something that would worsen and make hairdressing hard. So I got my MRI done on my left hand which is usually worse. Have you ever had an MRI?? Don't know why they have to be so noisy! I felt like I was in a Zombie Apocalypse or something! Scary!
But after waiting for the results for a week..... I finally got called back into the doc. And guess what??? Nothing... The doctor was flabbergasted... said it must just be the beginnings of arthritis. So if that's what it is doesn't arthritis get worse? as you age? and if so how bad will it be?? I LOVE doing things with my hands now! like crafting, painting, blogging, crocheting, cooking, cake decorating........and what about beauty school?? so for now, I called and put my school application on hold.... while I think and pray.. and try to be less confused and have Heavenly Father help me with an answer...maybe my hands hurting is my answer??
I'm not sure what to do in life.....other than live each day and enjoy it. :)
1 comment:
I am so sad your wrists are hurting! I have carpel tunnel in my wrists right now and I can't play the piano and it hurts to do much. It is not fun! I hope your wrists don't get worse and that it's not arthritis, so you can still do the things you love with your hands! Good luck with deciding whether or not to go back to beauty school. I am not good at making big decisions like that - we are so lucky to have prayer and inspiration from the spirit!
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